1. Elfster Help
  2. Participating in a Gift Exchange

How do I send anonymous messages and questions?

Anonymous messages and questions can only be asked by people you are in a Group or Gift Exchange with. Ask your draw questions to choose the perfect gift without giving away your identity.

✉️ Message the Person You Drew

By default, messages to the person you drew are marked to send anonymously. If you uncheck the Send Anonymously box, your name will be displayed.

⚠️Unfortunately, we can't retrieve messages once they are sent, so be careful if you uncheck the box. 

  1. Select Exchanges from your dashboard.
  2. Select the gift exchange you're participating in
  3. Select the name of the person you drew
  4. Select "send message"
    1. The send anonymously option will be automatically on for the person you drew
  5. Create your message and send.

✉️ Message a Friend

Anonymous messaging is only available if you share a group with the person you are messaging.
  1. Select the envelope icon on your dashboard
  2. Select the pencil in a square icon
  3. Choose a friend to send a message to
  4. Create your message and send it.

📝Message Tips📝

🕵️Unless your organizer has disabled the ability to send anonymous messages to people other than whom you drew–you can send messages anonymously to other participants.  Just be sure to check the box! ✅

Messages are private. Other participants will not be able to view your messages and answers.

Select the envelope icon on your dashboard to view messages you have sent.

Secret Q&A (Ask a Question)


Secret Q&A questions are only available to ask when you are in a group with the person you'd like to ask the question.  Your organizer can determine if you are able to send Secret Q&A questions to everyone in the group or only to the person you drew.  They are sent anonymously but keep in mind that the answer will appear in your group's Activity Feed.

Ask the person you drew secret Q&A questions right from the gift exchange!

Ask your draw a Secret Q&A

Ask a Secret Q&A

You can use the suggested questions provided or create your own.  When you send a question to someone, they will get a notification via email and also in their Elfster account. The recipient may choose to answer or dismiss the question. If they answer the question, you will receive an email notification and the answer will be posted on the Activity Feed. 

Answers will be visible to other people in the group.

Screen Shot 2022-08-30 at 3.59.14 PM

To view your own Secret Q&A

  • From your dashboard, select view my profile
  • Select the "my secret Q&A" button

 View my secret Q&A



✨If you receive a Secret Q&A question you feel is inappropriate, use the three dots to the right to Remove it or Flag it as inappropriate.

✨If you receive a message you feel is inappropriate, please contact our helper elves to have it removed.